The Fixer is Tired: Let Her Rest

How to step back, reclaim your peace, and trust others to rise

Dear high-functioning readers, this entry is dedicated to you.

A high-functioning person is someone who holds everything together for everyone else—sometimes so well that no one notices they’re unraveling inside. Their strength is real, but it’s often built on silent struggle, self-sacrifice, or unspoken grief.

High-functioning individuals are more susceptible to self-neglect, hyper-independence, anxious and depressive states, chronic health issues, emotional burnout, relational imbalance, and imposter syndrome. The scariest part? You’d never know because they’re masking a smile. High-functioning people wrestle with deep rooted pride. They’re well “put together” and incredibly competent. 

However, the unseen emotional burden they carry weighs on their soul daily. In return, overtime high-functioning individuals can become resentful of the people they trained to depend so heavily on them.

Here’s some common lies high functioning individuals tend to believe:

“If I don’t do it, no one will.”

→ Reinforces control and discourages delegation or trust.

“If I stop, everything will fall apart.”

→ This keeps you overworking, overcommitting, and unable to rest.

I don’t have the luxury of breaking down.”

→ Suggests that vulnerability is a privilege, not a human need.

“It’s selfish to put myself first.”

→ Keeps you in self-sacrificing patterns that feel noble but drain your well-being.

The truth? If this is you, you don’t have to remain as you are. You can choose a healthier path towards freedom. I am living proof!

Words of Wisdom by Char of the Week: It’s okay to unravel. At the root of every high functioning individual is a misguided belief of love. Being needed, being dependable, isn’t the same as being loved. You are not a machine— you matter, too.

*originally featured in June 4, 2025 edition of The Facts Newspaper, "WOWbyChar Column"

The Facts Newspaper (1961-present) is one of the first and largest Black news publications based in the Pacific Northwest. The six-decade publication circulates over 100,000 newspaper a week, excluding digital engagement. To learn more, visit thefactsnewspaper.com